For the past three weeks I have had the pleasure of working with Ms. M. We only get about an hour each week, so the process has been slow, but this week it all seemed to come together and I connected with Ms. M like never before. I felt a sense of empathy and compassion for her while comparing myself to her. Ms. M is 74 y/o African American female. I have more wrinkles on my face than she and her mind is as smart as a whip. She may seem a little slow when you first met her, but with time you realize she is thinking over what you said or choosing to just not say anything. She is funny and we both have and get the same kind of humor. We have created trust that somehow formed naturally and I see her not only as a senior in a SNF, but as a woman.
She has many grandchildren and great great grandchildren. Some she says are worth it and some are not "worth a damn". This week she seemed defeated and sad. I took her out into the garden, her favorite place to be. (Of course, I hate the heat and being in the garden) She expressed feelings of missing her independence. She expressed anger in being told what to do all the time. For example, what and what not to eat, when to sleep, when to take medicine, being watched all the time, and not being able to be alone in the garden by herself. I understand the staff rules for her and I know it is for her own good,I also feel she understands it on some level, but still yearns for her Independence. She is in the SNF because of a fall while intoxicated. I am not sure if this was a one time event or ETOH is a problem, but I must admit, I have sometimes in the past had too many glasses myself.
The point I am trying to make is I put myself in Ms. M's place and know without a doubt I would feel the same way. She is a grown woman and wants to make grown choices. She misses her home, her kitchen, her garden, and her space. All that has been taken away from her now. She shares a small room with a woman she does not know, she is watched all the time, and I am sure there is no wine served on the halls at night.
In my OT practice I want to always keep this empathy. I hope I can help seniors age in place as long as possible. I hope I can make it a little easier on them, if nothing else, I hope that karma will be repaid back to me one day and an OT will do the same for me. While searching for a related article I actually found a web site from a Doctor expressing the same thoughts as I. He has given seniors pointers on how to stay safe and live at home. I love this, because you don't always relate Doctors to this kind of attitude. If you browse around the web site, you will see glow in the dark pill bottles. I love it!!
As for Ms. M and I, we will continue to work together. I will pray for her return home and that she may live I as long as possible. If she must stay at the SNF, I hope she can come to terms with her situation and keep all her memories vivid and share them with me. I hope to practice respect with her and give her real choices. We will continue to laugh together and I will cherish my time with her. I hope you enjoy the posted web site.
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