No Regrets

This week we have been given a topic to blog about. Death. I can't say that I am totally excited about this topic because it brings up some feelings that make me feel uncomfortable. I guess what I can say without doubt, is that I have some personal life experience to add to the discussion. I watched my father in the dying process for about 4 months. I was in my mid 20's and to say the least, self absorbed. I avoided the situation as best I could and did not invest emotionally. The problem with this is that these feelings of regret and unfinished business follow me. I would urge anyone facing a love ones death to deal with any positive or negative feeling they have with the person. Say everything you have to say to them or want to share with them in the time you have together, even if you think it will upset them. Having regrets after one passes is difficult and it makes the grieving process longer and harder. I believe this is true with our future clients as well. We all dye and it is more than probable that in our careers as OTA's we will experience death with some of our clients. I hope to help the families as well as the person going through the experience. In researching for this blog, I found a great resource for family members. Some people may not know the signs of death and understanding and recognizing them may help in the process. The article talks about symptoms of the final stage of life including; coolness, sleeping, disorientation, incontinence, restlessness, urine decrease and food and fluid decrease. The article also mentions some emotional and spiritual signs and responses including withdrawal, vision-like experiences, restlessness, and unusual communications. I saw some of these for myself first hand. My father was in the hospital the last few days of his life. I was not there the whole time, but the time I was there he was sleeping and seemed to have conversations in his sleep. Similar to a dream, but there was something different about them. It seemed as if he was preparing himself to walk over to the other side. He was in conflict for a day or two and then seemed to let go. I often wonder if I had given him permission to let go, would he have let go sooner? Now that I am older and somewhat wiser I hope I can be of support to my clients and family members when faced in this situation. Death can be a sad time, but it can also be a time to finish what we have started here on earth and know that our loved ones will be waiting or us, because there will come a time for us to finish here on earth as well. Saying thank-you and I love you is not always easy, even in death. Giving family members support to do this can be very valuable as therapist. Being the one to tell a client thank-you or I love you might be the only thing we can do for them because there may not be anyone else. I am ready for that challenge and just wish I didn't have the regrets with my own father's passing.