The one time our instructor gives us a topic to blog about it is about death...thanks Ms. G!! I really do not think about death much because it kind of makes me uncomfortable. I will say that I am more comfortable now with the topic than I use to be, but it still is not an easy topic to deal with for me. I have been fortunate to not have many people to pass away in my family. I still have my mother and all my grandparents. My great-grandmother passed away when I was in the 8th grade so I was very young (and like another blogger posted "self absorbed") and really did not grasp what was going on. I had a good relationship with my great grandma, but I know if she would have passed now as opposed to then it would affect me differently. Almost 2 yrs ago my grandfather's physician gave him 24 hrs to live...when I heard that I thought I was going to die with him! I literally fell out of my chair and just started crying uncontrollably. I am usually the one that "keeps it together" in the family and my mother is the cry baby (she knows I have given her this title), but I could not hold back all the emotions I was feeling. I was sad, mad, scared, anxious and confused all at one time and all in the matter of minutes!! So my incident with him is the only thing I have to go on regarding death. I like to image that my grandfather wishes he did some things different in his life; I know even at my age now I wish I would have done some things different. The main thing I think about now regarding myself and dying is my son. If something were to happen to me now I hope that my mother is around long enough to look after him until he matures (that might be well after he is 21 yrs old!!) and if something happens to me later in life I hope that I go in peace and all that I leave behind will be ok.
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