Dying with Dignity

This week the class is to blog on some aspect of dying. I believe respecting the dying person's wishes give the person dignity and control over his/her life. Hospice assists the dying with many of the aspects of involving the end of life. The attached link explains some of the services offered by hospice.

My father chose to discontinue kidney dialysis after several years. He was did not like how he felt after dialysis and saw many of his co-patients suffer from severe complications of kidney failure. His dialysis shunts in his arms were wore out and the doctor needed to put new shunts into his legs. My father refused and stopped dialysis. This was his wish and how he chose to live and die.

He never wanted to start dialysis in the first place. However, my brother was getting married in 2 weeks. My father agreed to start dialysis so he could attend the wedding. He thought he would stop dialysis shortly after the wedding. However, soon the next son was getting married, grandchildren were coming and other life milestones were happening in the family. There was never a good time to stop because he wanted to see the next wedding or grandchild born.

After 5 years, my father felt it was his time to go. He lived a full life in his 51 year, his children were young adults with families, the majority of grandchildren were born. My mother was financially secure enough that he felt she would be able to survive without his social security.

Hospice was called 3 days before he passed away (he lived 22 days after stopping dialysis). Hospice helped my father pass. Hospice also helped my mother to deal with the details of a person passing away at home, bypassing the need to call the police and have an investigation when a person dies at home.

My father always told everyone to come visit him while he was alive because after he passed he would not know who came. He did not want any type of service for him when he passed. Therefore, my mother did not have a memorial service for him. This really made several other relatives angry, but my mother respected my father's wishes.

Whether I agree with my father's choices, it was his choice to make. I feel it will be a challenge to remember each person has the right to choose how he/she wants to live. My job is to respect the person's choices and help the person with whatever choices he/she has made.

My father lives his live the way he wanted and he died that way too!