I went out on FW today. I'm already not super comfortable around elderly people, definitely not "mean" elderly people. This woman wasn't even technically elderly, she was 61. Our instructor walks with me to her room and wakes her up, I'm so glad she did it b/c I definitely was not comfortable with that. Right away she seems annoyed that we are there and doesn't really want to talk to me. Our instructor leaves to go on the tour with the other students. I introduce myself again and tell her that I'm just trying to get to know her. So I start by asking her what she likes to do, "nothing." So I start to name some things, nope she doesn't like to do any of that stuff. So then I start to ask her about her background, what her job was? does she have children? Her response to all this was that I was nosy and she couldn't even understand why I was even there b/c asking her about her business was doing no good to her. I tried explaining that this is an assignment for class and that it is supposed to help me work on interview skills and I wanted to get some information to help with treatment planning, she told me that she didn't really care if I had good interview skills or not b/c I'm just bothering her. So maybe I shouldn't have said that. Honestly, I think I said that to try and take some blame off of myself for being there. Everything I said made her mad but when I tried to leave she didn't want me to go. Well, this annoyed me b/c I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. She wanted me to stay so she could have someone to b%@! to/at. When she found out that it was only 9:10 then she really let me have it, she could not believe that I came into her room that early. Hey, I get it, being there sucks, everyone bosses you around, she doesn't know when she is going home (she said she thought it was at the end of the week), I don't know if anyone comes to visit her but geese louise, what does that have to do with me? So I have to say, my feelings were a little bit hurt and I was a little pissed off when I finally walked out of her room. I literally wanted to cry. I'm not super sensitive but it kind of just caught me off guard and at a stressful time in my life.
Well, here it is about 10 hours later and now I feel bad. I should not have told my instructor or peers that she was "mean" and that I didn't want to work with her. Being there does suck, she is only 61-years-old, she has a lot of health problems, people come in and wake her up, she can't get a straight answer on when she is going home people are always "messing" with her. I think that before I took everything so personally I should have thought about all this. I remember being in the hospital after my daughter was born, people came in whenever they wanted, random people came around to ask me stuff, sometimes people didn't not have the information that I needed to know. It sucked. So I kind of put myself in her shoes and now I feel bad. I didn't really consider that maybe she wouldn't let me leave 1.b/c she needed someone to let steam off on 2. she was lonely. I tried asking her about her family but she didn't want to tell me anything about them. She also has bipolar disorder, I don't really know how much that matters though. I knew that prior to meeting her. I do have to say though, I am glad that I won't be working with her just b/c I'm really not ready enough to try and do treatment with someone like her. Maybe with more practice I will be....in a few years ;-D.
So anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is to not take stuff personally. Not everyone is going to be receptive or "nice" all the time and when they are not you just have to let it go.
The link that I provided is answers to the question: Why are old people mean even when you're helping them?
I can imagine that it must have been really hard to think you are being kind and helpful, only to be met with hostility and a big fat "NO". On the surface it looks like she is just really ungrateful. There are probably a lot of reason's that she would act like that though. Like if she was really depressed/sad/in pain etc. I would love to speak to the woman's other caregivers to find out more about her. Then you could always approach her in a different way and find a way to connect with her. That is what we will HAVE to do at COTAs. We do learn from every experience though don't we?
ReplyDeleteWell I got a heads up from the OT that she wasn't the greatest, "tell her you know me and maybe she'll be more receptive." I think if I had more time (like if this was FW 2) then I could find that soft spot but we're only here for what? 6 weeks? And only once a week at that. I honestly think she was just mad at the situation of being there.
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