The other day at FW I met a man in his early 50s who has a motor neuron disorder called Brachial amyotrophic diplegia (BAD), a rare type of ALS. During the evaluation session, I kept thinking how he and his wife were handling the diagnosis so well. They both talked about how vivacious he had been - he would do all the handyman jobs around the house, mow the yard and kept a job. He even commented on how he was a big fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger back in the day, and that Arnold’s bodybuilding book had been his bible. Now the man has limited strength in both arms and chest, and is not able to do any of those things. He has lost a lot of his fine motor skills and cannot cut his food, button his shirt or pants, but he is still able to hold his head up. He and his wife have learned to improvise - wearing pull over shirts, jogging pants, and hiring someone to do the handyman jobs.
It makes me wonder which stage of grief they are in - denial, anger, bargaining, depression or acceptance. Since it’s been about 2 years since the diagnosis, they probably have gone through denial, anger and bargaining, and he didn’t seem depressed. He seem to be in the acceptance stage, but as time goes by and he looses more of his strength and use of his arms, he may backtrack to one or more of the other stages. Luckily his wife and family are very supportive, which makes this transition more bearable.
Click on the title to read more information about the 5 stages of grief.
It does sound like he and his wife are in the acceptance phase of his disease. I think it's easier to get to that phase if there isn't a cure for the disease and you know what will eventually happen. Also, I believe if you are a religious person, you may not mind passing away as much as nonbelievers because you know there is a better place just around the corner.
ReplyDeleteI saw this patient at FW a couple of weeks ago who had a tumor the size of a small cantaloupe, and we're suppose to be doing OT to make him strong enough to go home to die?!? The patient was very nonchalant about dying. He clearly was in the acceptance phase as were his family members. By the next week, he had passed away. I found a website that has some very insightful quotes. I especially like this one.
ReplyDeleteAnd it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
-St. Francis of Assisi
Here is the link to check out some more.
http://www.greatest-inspirational-quotes.com/dying-quotes.html