"What do you say?" That is what I was asking myself as I walked into my patient's room and Ms. Gonzalez was trying to waken her. I am, by no means, comfortable at nursing facilities, but when confronted with a client that is hard to rouse and tells you right up front that she wants to go back and "just sleep," I was at a loss.
I asked my interview questions and got a plethera of "I dont remember"s and "I just like to sleep"s and felt that I had failed miserably. On one hand I did. She waved in and out of sleep and I had no statements that sparked her or made me think that she would even remember that I had been there 30 minutes later. On the other hand, she helped me. I'm sure that this is not going to be the last time that I encounter a client that just does not want me there. She helped me to think and prepare for the next time that I see her or someone like her. Why is she that way and what can I do?
She only has one living relative on record. A granddaughter whom I'm guessing has a life of her own and children of her own and doesn't get down there to see her as often as she would like (or should). If someone has no one familiar to talk to, to show true interest in them, they probably think they have chosen the most comfortable option, by opting out.
I don't know that I've ever truly "prepared" for a conversation, but I also need some "weapons in the arsenal" for the next time that I come across a patient like this one (or this one). She has lost much of her vision and her lust for life. Maybe I'll take a book to read to her, or playdough to stimulate her tactile senses, or some potpourri to make her room smell good. Even though she doesn't think so, everyone likes to be thought of, remembered and even stimulated.
On the conversation point, I've found a website of positive topics to talk about with anyone, but especially someone who has a long life on which to look back. Check it out.
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/10-interesting-topics-of-conversation-for-every-occasion-171235.html
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
The Antisocial Patient
This week on FW I had the pleasure of meeting a wonderful man who had a career as a subway train driver in NYC. Perfect timing! I went to NYC for the first time the week prior J He talked about his life in the Bronx and his life now in Durham. He seemed like a pretty active man throughout his adulthood however current day consists of reading 3 newspapers and “taking care of things around the house”. His son reported that he pretty much lives an antisocial bed to chair life, living in poor conditions (dirty, moldy, floorboards breaking, etc…). Getting to know him a little further, I immediately started to think of leisurely things he could try while he was in rehab and potentially carry over to his home. All these lofty ideas were floating around and I thought to myself but does he really want to be involved in these? Does he like his life just like it is? Do I just see his life described on a piece of paper and want more for him just like his son does…and finds his life pleasing and doesn’t see a reason to change anything? I was starting have conflicting feelings about my own perceptions on what relationships mean to me and how they may drastically differ from my patients. I believe at the root of all human beings we desire to be in relationships and desire to share connections, love, and companionship. Well what happens when someone doesn’t crave those things? It really got me thinking about the title “antisocial” and what an individual who would be described by this name would enjoy.
Also I started thinking…his main goal is to return home at a Modified Independent level in his daily functions but by creating independence are we feeling his antisocialism? If there was a need at least partial assistance, would this relationship help him psychologically? I leave this week with more questions than answers...I am looking forward to finding out more about this interesting man this week! I want to know how he interprets his life, what he likes, what he would change and what are his personal goals.
(I didn't see a professional diagnosis of "antisocal personality disorder" in his chart - just the word antisocial to describe his nature and personality in the evaluation. But it is interesting read about the disorder and its characteristics. Click on the title of this post to read more...)
So...how old do you feel?
Well...how old do you feel? Do you feel as old as your chronological age, or maybe you've lived a very healthy lifestyle and you feel much younger than you really are. If so, that's considered your real age. I guess the old saying is true, "You're only as old as you feel." I always thought this to be true but didn't know you could have a chronological age and a real age until we discussed it in class and after reading it in our text book.
Ironically, before reading and talking about this subject in class, my mom and I had a discussion about it. She was showing me her new age spots and complaining about how she thinks she looks pregnant most of the time, which she does not! Anyway, that lead into her complaining how my dad and her rarely go out to eat or do anything for that matter. That part is most definitely true and sad. After discussing all this, she said how she knew that she was 64 but she doesn't feel like she is. She said inside that she still wants to go do things like she did when she was much younger like cruising around the Boardwalk at the beach. There's no telling what her real age is. She keeps up with the young people at work! She works really hard and has to lift 50lb boxes so I know she's in good shape.
I understand how my mom feels but on a somewhat different level. My body feels it's age, most specially when I do a lot of work, but my mind still thinks I'm in my 20s. I guess it's good at least some of me is still young! I doubt that as I age, I will totally succumb to my chronological age.
Click on the title for some additional information about your chronological age vs your real age including 6 tests that could prolong your life. It's very interesting! I had never even heard of the laryngoscopic exam before.
Check out this website. It has a little test to see what your real age is.
http://www.sonnyradio.com/realage.htm
By the way, it said my real age is 27!
Ironically, before reading and talking about this subject in class, my mom and I had a discussion about it. She was showing me her new age spots and complaining about how she thinks she looks pregnant most of the time, which she does not! Anyway, that lead into her complaining how my dad and her rarely go out to eat or do anything for that matter. That part is most definitely true and sad. After discussing all this, she said how she knew that she was 64 but she doesn't feel like she is. She said inside that she still wants to go do things like she did when she was much younger like cruising around the Boardwalk at the beach. There's no telling what her real age is. She keeps up with the young people at work! She works really hard and has to lift 50lb boxes so I know she's in good shape.
I understand how my mom feels but on a somewhat different level. My body feels it's age, most specially when I do a lot of work, but my mind still thinks I'm in my 20s. I guess it's good at least some of me is still young! I doubt that as I age, I will totally succumb to my chronological age.
Click on the title for some additional information about your chronological age vs your real age including 6 tests that could prolong your life. It's very interesting! I had never even heard of the laryngoscopic exam before.
Check out this website. It has a little test to see what your real age is.
http://www.sonnyradio.com/realage.htm
By the way, it said my real age is 27!
Grandma getting down
My sister's wedding was yesterday and my entire family came down to the beach to join in this wonderful celebration. Included were my grandparents who stayed in our house with my parents and I. My grandfather is 82 and my grandmother is 76. Everyone always comments on how "cool" and "up to date" my grandparents are. This weekend everyone got to meet them on the grooms side of the family and they enjoyed their company as well. The wedding was at 5pm so the reception lasted well into the night. No one could get over the fact that at 11pm my grandparents were still out on the dance floor, dancing the night away. Some were pointing at them with shocked looks on their face - but why? Ageism at it's best here. Why can't my grandparents be out late, dancing at their grand daughters wedding? Are they supposed to be in bed at this point, or sitting at their table just watching? No, not my grandparents, they were hanging in there with the best of them. They didn't let their ages stand in the way. My grandfather even helped take down decorations and put up chairs the next morning. Of course everyone was trying to tell him to let them do it for him but he would have none of that. He was able and willing and was not going to have someone do it for him just because he looks old. My grandparents may look old, but are young at heart and will live to their best ability until they can't no more. So just because someone looks old doesn't mean that they can't do something, let them give it a try before you jump in and do it for them.
I have attached a link on the benefits of dancing regardless of age in the title - enjoy
I have attached a link on the benefits of dancing regardless of age in the title - enjoy
1st impression of nursing/rehab center
I wasn't nervous, just unsure what to expect when I arrived at the nursing/rehab center where we're doing FW. I was pleasantly surprised at how lively the place was. They were having a celebration for Memorial Day, serving ice cream, & everyone seemed to be having a good time. The place was bigger than I thought, even though there's not much unused space, & they had to use some of the lobby area for the celebration. It was good to see that they're renovating areas to help with the lack of unused space, & to make it as staff-friendly & patient-friendly as possible. Hopefully our class can help with organizing & maybe "fixing up" some areas in the facility.
One of my worries about going to a nursing/rehab center for the 1st time was what kinds of smells there would be. While taking a tour of the facility, we did encounter an area where there was a fresh "poopy" smell, but overall the facility tries to keep the building pleasant-smelling.... I even saw a woman walking around spraying air freshener.
I had a very good 1st experience at the nursing/rehab center. I interviewed my client, who's recovering from foot surgery. He'll probably be able to go home soon, so I'll have a different client in a few weeks. Until he leaves, I think he'll be a very good pt & will be very cooperative.
I found a good website about nursing homes/SNFs. Here's a section that discusses the top 10 myths about nursing homes - one of them is the myth that nursing homes smell bad.
http://www.seniorhomes.com/p/nursing-home-facilities/
Communication with the elderly
For one of our class assignments, we need to interview someone that is 65 or older. I decided to interview a woman I have known for many years. She is turning 85 on June 5th and is now living in a SNF. I will call her "Debra" while writing this blog. Over the years, I have mainly been around Debra at events that were held at our church. I have never had a problem talking with her and did not expect to have any while I was interviewing her. When my husband and I got to the SNF, Debra and her husband were having supper in the dining room. She was so excited when she saw us walk through the door, mostly because my husband was with me and she adores him! When I told her I was doing a paper for school and wanted to interview her, she was ready to leave the dining room right then, telling her husband, "you go back to your room now, we are going to mine because I'm going to be interviewed!" Well, needless to say, I didn't have to say hardly anything! The conversation took off and I don't think Debra took ten breaths during our hour long visit. What amazes me most is that I have know Debra for a very long time and I found out so many new interesting things about her and the wonderful life she has been living. I have always loved her stories and could not believe she had so many more to tell that I have never heard. I laughed, cried and talked till my jaws hurt. The hour flew by and I finally had to tell her I needed to go find my husband, who was visiting with her husband. She said he was probably being held hostage by her husband and it was no telling what "that old fool" was telling him. I had the best time with her. Geriatrics is an area I am interested working in; not that I don't want to explore other options as well.
I also had a very good time talking with the lady I will be working with this summer at another SNF. She is 87 and a joy to be around.
I have attached a link on tips for communicating with the elderly.
I also had a very good time talking with the lady I will be working with this summer at another SNF. She is 87 and a joy to be around.
I have attached a link on tips for communicating with the elderly.
Nursing Facilities
A few semesters ago I shadowed an OT at a nursing facility in Wake County. It was the classic set-up, patients lined up in front of the nursing station, and along the hallways. The facility had an odor and it was depressing. All nursing facilities are not like this, are they?
No they are not. Going on fieldwork last Thursday I was pleasantly surprised. The facility was clean and bright. No foul odors and definitely not a line of patients in the hallway. There were activities for the patients and outside areas where one can go. After getting a tour of the facility I realize that the facility was a lot larger inside that looking at it from the outside. So not all facilities are the same, the condition greatly depends on the management and the staff.
My patient is a new patient at the nursing home; she just arrived there a couple of days ago. I would be curious to know what she thinks of the facility after being there a week; I think I will ask her.
No facility is ever going to be perfect or like home but one can find competent care-givers and staff to help the short-term or long-term stay pleasant. If you ever have to consider a nursing facility follow my link (click on my title) to a checklist “How to Choose a Really Good Nursing Home”.
No they are not. Going on fieldwork last Thursday I was pleasantly surprised. The facility was clean and bright. No foul odors and definitely not a line of patients in the hallway. There were activities for the patients and outside areas where one can go. After getting a tour of the facility I realize that the facility was a lot larger inside that looking at it from the outside. So not all facilities are the same, the condition greatly depends on the management and the staff.
My patient is a new patient at the nursing home; she just arrived there a couple of days ago. I would be curious to know what she thinks of the facility after being there a week; I think I will ask her.
No facility is ever going to be perfect or like home but one can find competent care-givers and staff to help the short-term or long-term stay pleasant. If you ever have to consider a nursing facility follow my link (click on my title) to a checklist “How to Choose a Really Good Nursing Home”.
Back To the Future...
Ever since we had our conversation in class this past Wednesday about how we see ourselves as seniors I have been "revisiting" my future off and on. There have been some good thoughts and some thoughts that worry me a bit. The good thoughts are the ones like me being able to see my young son become a man (I'm praying a productive one) and seeing what kind of adults my nieces and nephews become. Then the thought of me being old and alone keeps popping into my mind. I joke about my son sending me to a nursing home, but there is a good chance that will happen. So the idea of forming a "pact" with some friends is sounding better and better the more I think about me as a senior citizen. Another thought that concerns me a bit is wondering if I would impacted some one's life in a positive way. I have been thinking about this somewhat for a while but it really came into focus after watching the "Queen of impact"...Oprah! Her last shoes made me cry all through all of them, especially her 2 day Surprise Spectacular. She has done so many things for so many people; it made me think about all the things I would like to do. But, I know that one's life can be impacted by simple things as well. One of the small (and probably having a zero "wow" factor to someone else...but it means something to me) things I think about when I think if my grandfather is when he taught my son how to ride a bike. I think of how his own father did not teach him how to ride a bike but my grandfather cared enough to take the time out to teach him. It makes me smile every time and think about how much I love that old man! But anyway, I said all of that to say I hope when I am "old old" someone will love and cherish me the way I do him.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Life Comes Full Circle
I recently read an article about a woman whose mother is suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease. The woman begins the story talking about how her mother read to her when she was a child and how those stories and poems connected them, and became a part of their life.
Now as her mother mentally deteriorates and normal conversation becomes impossible, the daughter reads to her mother, to maintain the connection. And so, as many things between parent and child change with time, the relationship between this mother and daughter has come full circle.
Why read to someone with Alzheimer’s Disease? Do they even understand and process the words? Could that possibly be beneficial? I remember a movie I saw where a man is reading to his infant daughter, but instead of children’s stories, he is reading the business section of the paper. When questioned by another adult about why he would read that to her, he replied that it wasn’t really what you were saying as much as it was about hearing your voice that matters. Infants don’t understand our words at first and probably not at all for a while, but that is not why we do it. We talk to them out of love, to make a connection with the sound of our voice. So too, when we talk to older adults who may be mentally disabled by age or disease, they may understand most, some or even none of what we are saying, but it is important nevertheless to communicate our care and concern, with words. Maybe, like a baby, they only understand the soothing tone and nothing more, but that is still valuable.
In the article I read, she said that her mother would smile when she read to her and though struggling with words, shared simple thoughts of gratitude. The moral of this story for me was that being limited in any way does not make you any less of a human being, and no matter what limitation, people need and deserve our love and concern.
A link to a blog with an excellent article on the value of reading to Alzheimer’s patients.
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/22/many-alzheimers-patients-find-comfort-in-books/
Now as her mother mentally deteriorates and normal conversation becomes impossible, the daughter reads to her mother, to maintain the connection. And so, as many things between parent and child change with time, the relationship between this mother and daughter has come full circle.
Why read to someone with Alzheimer’s Disease? Do they even understand and process the words? Could that possibly be beneficial? I remember a movie I saw where a man is reading to his infant daughter, but instead of children’s stories, he is reading the business section of the paper. When questioned by another adult about why he would read that to her, he replied that it wasn’t really what you were saying as much as it was about hearing your voice that matters. Infants don’t understand our words at first and probably not at all for a while, but that is not why we do it. We talk to them out of love, to make a connection with the sound of our voice. So too, when we talk to older adults who may be mentally disabled by age or disease, they may understand most, some or even none of what we are saying, but it is important nevertheless to communicate our care and concern, with words. Maybe, like a baby, they only understand the soothing tone and nothing more, but that is still valuable.
In the article I read, she said that her mother would smile when she read to her and though struggling with words, shared simple thoughts of gratitude. The moral of this story for me was that being limited in any way does not make you any less of a human being, and no matter what limitation, people need and deserve our love and concern.
A link to a blog with an excellent article on the value of reading to Alzheimer’s patients.
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/22/many-alzheimers-patients-find-comfort-in-books/
Thursday, May 26, 2011
The "mean" one.
I went out on FW today. I'm already not super comfortable around elderly people, definitely not "mean" elderly people. This woman wasn't even technically elderly, she was 61. Our instructor walks with me to her room and wakes her up, I'm so glad she did it b/c I definitely was not comfortable with that. Right away she seems annoyed that we are there and doesn't really want to talk to me. Our instructor leaves to go on the tour with the other students. I introduce myself again and tell her that I'm just trying to get to know her. So I start by asking her what she likes to do, "nothing." So I start to name some things, nope she doesn't like to do any of that stuff. So then I start to ask her about her background, what her job was? does she have children? Her response to all this was that I was nosy and she couldn't even understand why I was even there b/c asking her about her business was doing no good to her. I tried explaining that this is an assignment for class and that it is supposed to help me work on interview skills and I wanted to get some information to help with treatment planning, she told me that she didn't really care if I had good interview skills or not b/c I'm just bothering her. So maybe I shouldn't have said that. Honestly, I think I said that to try and take some blame off of myself for being there. Everything I said made her mad but when I tried to leave she didn't want me to go. Well, this annoyed me b/c I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. She wanted me to stay so she could have someone to b%@! to/at. When she found out that it was only 9:10 then she really let me have it, she could not believe that I came into her room that early. Hey, I get it, being there sucks, everyone bosses you around, she doesn't know when she is going home (she said she thought it was at the end of the week), I don't know if anyone comes to visit her but geese louise, what does that have to do with me? So I have to say, my feelings were a little bit hurt and I was a little pissed off when I finally walked out of her room. I literally wanted to cry. I'm not super sensitive but it kind of just caught me off guard and at a stressful time in my life.
Well, here it is about 10 hours later and now I feel bad. I should not have told my instructor or peers that she was "mean" and that I didn't want to work with her. Being there does suck, she is only 61-years-old, she has a lot of health problems, people come in and wake her up, she can't get a straight answer on when she is going home people are always "messing" with her. I think that before I took everything so personally I should have thought about all this. I remember being in the hospital after my daughter was born, people came in whenever they wanted, random people came around to ask me stuff, sometimes people didn't not have the information that I needed to know. It sucked. So I kind of put myself in her shoes and now I feel bad. I didn't really consider that maybe she wouldn't let me leave 1.b/c she needed someone to let steam off on 2. she was lonely. I tried asking her about her family but she didn't want to tell me anything about them. She also has bipolar disorder, I don't really know how much that matters though. I knew that prior to meeting her. I do have to say though, I am glad that I won't be working with her just b/c I'm really not ready enough to try and do treatment with someone like her. Maybe with more practice I will be....in a few years ;-D.
So anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is to not take stuff personally. Not everyone is going to be receptive or "nice" all the time and when they are not you just have to let it go.
The link that I provided is answers to the question: Why are old people mean even when you're helping them?
Well, here it is about 10 hours later and now I feel bad. I should not have told my instructor or peers that she was "mean" and that I didn't want to work with her. Being there does suck, she is only 61-years-old, she has a lot of health problems, people come in and wake her up, she can't get a straight answer on when she is going home people are always "messing" with her. I think that before I took everything so personally I should have thought about all this. I remember being in the hospital after my daughter was born, people came in whenever they wanted, random people came around to ask me stuff, sometimes people didn't not have the information that I needed to know. It sucked. So I kind of put myself in her shoes and now I feel bad. I didn't really consider that maybe she wouldn't let me leave 1.b/c she needed someone to let steam off on 2. she was lonely. I tried asking her about her family but she didn't want to tell me anything about them. She also has bipolar disorder, I don't really know how much that matters though. I knew that prior to meeting her. I do have to say though, I am glad that I won't be working with her just b/c I'm really not ready enough to try and do treatment with someone like her. Maybe with more practice I will be....in a few years ;-D.
So anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is to not take stuff personally. Not everyone is going to be receptive or "nice" all the time and when they are not you just have to let it go.
The link that I provided is answers to the question: Why are old people mean even when you're helping them?
Purposeful activity
We hear a lot about purposeful activity and the impact that it may have in a person's life. Lecture time has often turned to this, even when activity wasn't the main topic. I was able to see this first-hand this past Sunday, and I thought I would share.
Mrs. L has been a "grandmother" to my girls for 12 years now. Mrs. L and Mr. R moved down from PA and landed across the street from us all those years ago. After a lenghty initial meeting(!!)our relationship with them just took off, and to this day, is extremely important to all of us.
Mrs. L had an injury to her ankle about 4 years ago. By the time she went to the doctor, it had already started to heal, but it was never set properly. This started some problems with walking, balance, and safety. However, she was still able to get out in the yard and garden, rake the leaves and even shovel snow when necessary!
She just had to use some caution. Her knees began to deteriorate, due to RA. The shots help for a while, but there has been a noticeable decline in her activity. She had a fall about a month ago, and has not been the same since this happened. She hasn't been able to go to Rex for her swim, or even to Wal-Mart to get her yarn.
My older daughter talked with her on Sat. night, and called me with concern in her voice. "Mrs. L just does not sound good at all" she said. I called her and thought the same thing. She sounded confused, and told me that she doesn't know why she is still here,living like this, with all of these aches and pains. It broke my heart to hear her saying these things.
First thing the next morning, we went to check on her. We know longer live right across the street--we always tell them that we had to move 'cause of what moved in!!!!! Mrs. L was still talking about how she doesn't know what to do. She is feeling every limitation and pain that comes with RA. She no longer cooks, doesn't do much cleaning, and has a hard time just navigating around the small house she shares with Mr. R. Thanfully, she is still able to crochet.
The girls thought it would be neat if they could learn to crochet. Mrs. L has spent a considerable amount of time crocheting, doing needle point, and also making ceramics. We have many of her blankets and scarves. She has also given us many beautiful Christmas decorations--all hand made. The girls asked Mrs. L if she would be able to teach them to be so crafty!!!!
A transformation took place right there in front of us--it was totally amazing. She seemed to come alive!!! She got off the bed and told the girls to follow as she was looking for all of her books. I got her cane for her, and was told that the "walls work just as well." After a bit of encouragment, she did grab the cane, but it never touched the floor. She went from one bedroom to the next waving the cane with one hand, and hanging onto the walls with the other. She was so funny, we all just laughed. Purposeful activity????? Amazing!!!
K and K didn't pick up on crocheting quite as easily as they would have liked, but they will continue to try, for Mrs. L!!
Mrs. L has been a "grandmother" to my girls for 12 years now. Mrs. L and Mr. R moved down from PA and landed across the street from us all those years ago. After a lenghty initial meeting(!!)our relationship with them just took off, and to this day, is extremely important to all of us.
Mrs. L had an injury to her ankle about 4 years ago. By the time she went to the doctor, it had already started to heal, but it was never set properly. This started some problems with walking, balance, and safety. However, she was still able to get out in the yard and garden, rake the leaves and even shovel snow when necessary!
She just had to use some caution. Her knees began to deteriorate, due to RA. The shots help for a while, but there has been a noticeable decline in her activity. She had a fall about a month ago, and has not been the same since this happened. She hasn't been able to go to Rex for her swim, or even to Wal-Mart to get her yarn.
My older daughter talked with her on Sat. night, and called me with concern in her voice. "Mrs. L just does not sound good at all" she said. I called her and thought the same thing. She sounded confused, and told me that she doesn't know why she is still here,living like this, with all of these aches and pains. It broke my heart to hear her saying these things.
First thing the next morning, we went to check on her. We know longer live right across the street--we always tell them that we had to move 'cause of what moved in!!!!! Mrs. L was still talking about how she doesn't know what to do. She is feeling every limitation and pain that comes with RA. She no longer cooks, doesn't do much cleaning, and has a hard time just navigating around the small house she shares with Mr. R. Thanfully, she is still able to crochet.
The girls thought it would be neat if they could learn to crochet. Mrs. L has spent a considerable amount of time crocheting, doing needle point, and also making ceramics. We have many of her blankets and scarves. She has also given us many beautiful Christmas decorations--all hand made. The girls asked Mrs. L if she would be able to teach them to be so crafty!!!!
A transformation took place right there in front of us--it was totally amazing. She seemed to come alive!!! She got off the bed and told the girls to follow as she was looking for all of her books. I got her cane for her, and was told that the "walls work just as well." After a bit of encouragment, she did grab the cane, but it never touched the floor. She went from one bedroom to the next waving the cane with one hand, and hanging onto the walls with the other. She was so funny, we all just laughed. Purposeful activity????? Amazing!!!
K and K didn't pick up on crocheting quite as easily as they would have liked, but they will continue to try, for Mrs. L!!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Siblings Connections As Older Adults
As I have gotten older, I have been pleasantly surprised that my husband and I have been reconnecting with our siblings. Most of us are now in our 50s and 60s with our children grown, a couple of us have retired from work. We now get together and reminisce about things we did as children, the choices our children are making, how great it is to have grandchildren, and travel together. This is quickly becoming an important part of my support network.
As part of my research, I found several articles stating that our siblings are the longest relationships that most people experience. Obviously, as children we grow up together and spend a lot of time with each other. However, many times siblings leave home to pursue very different lives and lose the connection with each other as the siblings are busy establishing careers and raising families during their 20-40s. During this time period, there is not much time for siblings. As we age, our older relatives need care and past away which generally brings the family together to make decisions about the end of life. Also our children grow up to live their own lives. These changes allow the opportunities to reconnect with siblings.
I am glad that as adults, my siblings and I are able to overcoming any sibling rivalry and enjoy our new found reconnections. I have attached by article about reconnecting with siblings.
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mom-loves-you-best/201103/why-reconnect-estranged-midlife-siblings-0
Monday, May 23, 2011
If I only knew then, what I know now......
I have a feeling that Geriatrics' class this summer is going to be an emotional ride for me. I don't talk about my father much, I think it's because I have so much regret. I am going to try to let some of those feeling out in this blog because so much of it relates to my class content. I started crying after class discussion today and ran away like a baby. I hate to cry in front of people, makes me feel weak in some way. My father is such a big part of who I am today for so many reasons. Let me start by saying that my father was 62 when I was born. Crazy, right?? He was a family doctor in a small NC town. I was with him every weekend. (my parents were divorced by the time I was 3) I will get back to exploring my relationship with him in a later blog but first an important issue came up in class today. What do grown children do when faced with the realization that their parents can not live alone Independently? For me, this question was full of other factors. My father was use to be the decision maker. He was a God like figure among patients and his family, including me. He was wealthy and still very cognitively intact. He was smart as a whip and stubborn as a mule. Now what? He was 84, living alone, and his health was declining fast. His body was failing him and all of his children, me being the youngest felt trapped. We could not force Dr. W to do anything. So we all watched as he tried to keep it together and watched feeling helpless. I look back on this time and think I could have done so much more. I was in my early twenties and very selfish. I had been spoiled all my life and really could not stand to see my father so frail and aging. We were forced to do nothing until he finally went into the hospital where they kept him for 10 days and he passed. I felt a sort of relief. I hate to even admit that. He deserved to be at peace and lying in the hospital was not what he wanted.
As an OTA, I hope to help guide family members in this decision making process. I know first hand how difficult it can be and how many different circumstances go into making a living situation. Too many emotions surround this issue to even discuss, but I feel like I can give back somehow by helping others in this life decision. I wish I had resources like the linked website above. I hope it will come in handy for anyone out there dealing with this issue. Thanks for reading.
Aging is not for wimps
I used to balk at the concept of aging. It was for everyone else. I was sure that I would somehow skip the slowdown and play sports, do yardwork and stay out like a young adult forever.
I got married at 25 and didn't skip a beat. We were at the lake jetskiing, swimming, whatever every weekend in the summer, skiing in the winter. Ha! Take that aging!
Errrk! 29 hit and I had my first child. No problem. The jetskis were sold, but that was just because "we couldn't take a newborn to the lake every weekend" (and falling off at 30 mph wasn't as much fun anymore, somehow). But still, I refused to believe that I had started the process of aging. Skiing went out the window too, because we "didn't want to leave the wee one for that long" (and getting up on skis hurt the knees alot more that it used to).
By 31, I had my second child and was down to jumping on the trampoline and playing in the yard. I suddenly felt really "old." After reflecting on this change in my activity, I complained to my sister that I was feeling old, she made me realize that it really is a state of mind. Not really what you've stopped doing, but what you continue doing.
As I play with my kids each day, I remember that as long as I keep in mind all of the fun things that I do, I'll stay young much longer than if I dwell on the things that I don't or can't do anymore.
I got married at 25 and didn't skip a beat. We were at the lake jetskiing, swimming, whatever every weekend in the summer, skiing in the winter. Ha! Take that aging!
Errrk! 29 hit and I had my first child. No problem. The jetskis were sold, but that was just because "we couldn't take a newborn to the lake every weekend" (and falling off at 30 mph wasn't as much fun anymore, somehow). But still, I refused to believe that I had started the process of aging. Skiing went out the window too, because we "didn't want to leave the wee one for that long" (and getting up on skis hurt the knees alot more that it used to).
By 31, I had my second child and was down to jumping on the trampoline and playing in the yard. I suddenly felt really "old." After reflecting on this change in my activity, I complained to my sister that I was feeling old, she made me realize that it really is a state of mind. Not really what you've stopped doing, but what you continue doing.
As I play with my kids each day, I remember that as long as I keep in mind all of the fun things that I do, I'll stay young much longer than if I dwell on the things that I don't or can't do anymore.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Working with elders
This semester I will be doing fieldwork at a nursing / rehabilitation center. I had never really worked with elders until my 82 yo father became ill from cancer last year. My family & I decided to take care of him at his home. It wasn't easy at times, but we did our best & helped out as much as we could. At the very end, when we were unable to maintain his pain, we decided to take him to a hospice center. The staff there were all very compassionate, & they helped my dad leave this world in the most gentle way possible.
One of the main reasons we decided to take care of my dad at his home is because of the "bad press" nursing homes / SNFs have had - the facilities have a nasty smell, they're dark & gloomy, & pts are not well taken care of. I hope this isn't the case once I begin my fieldwork at the nursing/rehab center. From our class discussions & information from the internet, it seems like the newer, more advanced facilities are more friendly & more welcoming for pts & their families.
Doing fieldwork at a nursing/rehab center will be a good challenge for me, & I'm excited to learn more about them... the good & the bad. I love hearing the great stories that elders have from their past & I also love their "I'm old, I can do anything & say anything I want" attitudes. For the elders who are having a hard time, physically & mentally, I'm going to have to practice how to deal with them - to use my therapeutic use of self. I haven't really dealt with too many people who are grumpy & non-receptive, but I'll probably see a few of these people at fieldwork.
When my father was still at home, we had a CNA come in 2x/wk. Some days my father was in a good mood & he would joke with her, & she would joke back... it made his day. Other days my father wasn't doing well, & the CNA was able to change her personality. She wasn't sympathetic, but she was empathetic, which made him feel more at ease. I hope I can learn to use my therapeutic use of self as well as she did.
My Grandma's insecurities
This past Christmas my sister and I got my grandmother a great gift. It's hard to find my grandmother a gift because she has everything and no matter what we get her she always takes it back a week later. Our family always picks on her because she has a camera that is about 20 years old (still has to put film in it). I don't even know where you get filmed developed now. She loves this camera but we decided to get her a digital camera for Christmas. We were hoping that she would love taking pictures with it and get the film "developed" the same way, just with digital card. Well we gave her the gift on Christmas, she acted like she liked it in front of our family and then took it back a week later. We had even gave her a digital picture frame to go with it so she could show off her pictures. She took this back also. When I asked my mother why she took it back, she explained that if my grandmother thinks that she can't do something or learn to do it, she will not do it. Hence taking the camera and frame back, thinking that she couldn't figure out how to do it. Our entire family had gotten her a desktop computer a couple years ago for Christmas, which she kept because she and my grandfather had always went to the library to use their Internet and had figured it out there on their own. She won't use email though because she "doesn't want to mess with it". What she doesn't understand is that she could get pictures through email from her children and grandchildren in other states on email, or even use skype to talk to them. But won't do so because of the chance that she can't figure it out. What resources she is missing out on because she won't try new things. I hate this for her. I wish that I could teach her how to do these things to use these resources to her advantage. No luck there. This is one thing that a lot of older people have in common. Stuck in their ways and will not try new things. Their loss. I wish we could find a way to teach them that it is ok for them to try new things and the things that are out there that they could use to make life easier for them. I wonder how this will impact teaching the elderly to use adapted devices to help them do things, or if they will resist because this is something new to learn?
Here is a link on teenagers teaching the elderly to use new "techy" things like skype from the Wall Street Journal: http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2011/01/11/teens-teach-tech-to-seniors/
Here is a link on teenagers teaching the elderly to use new "techy" things like skype from the Wall Street Journal: http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2011/01/11/teens-teach-tech-to-seniors/
Arnold, What Were You Thinking??
I started brain storming.....Ageism......and the first thing that comes to mind is Arnold Schwarzenegger.....Come on Arnold, what were you thinking?? I can't help but think of the discussion we had in Geriatrics class about men and women. Why is it accepted for older men to run around with younger women, but older women are criticized if they have a younger man love interest. I guess it goes along with the ageism that men are sexier with age and women only go down hill with age. How many times do you see an older woman in Hollywood with an younger man?? I can only think of one, Demi and Ashton. They are the exception to the rule!! Lets see for the male side of things: Hefner, Nicholoson, Clooney, Douglas..... and the list goes on and on. Currently there is public discussions about Arnold and Maria everywhere you turn. If you are out of the loop the couple is separating after 25 years of marriage and to top it all off, Arnold fathered a child about 10 years ago, with no other than the couples housemaid!! Arnold is getting pretty beat up in the press right now, but I wonder how long will that last?? Will he star in next year's hot new action movie and suddenly be on the road to comeback?? This is hard to say especially considering Maria Shiver is such a loved public figure. Only time will tell but if you base your opinion on ageism, somehow Arnold will get out of this one and have a hot new girlfriend age 21 by next year!! I found the above linked article interesting about couples who have been married a long time, are over 50 and the real reasons they sometimes choose to end their marriages. Growing old is not an easy experience and growing old with a partner is even harder. Good luck to Arnold and Maria, and I pray to not see many photos of Arnold around town with his new, young love interest!!
Age and Attitude (Spunk)
Age and Attitude
My husband and I run a small training business and we have a retired nurse who works for us part time. She always refers to herself as the ‘old nurse” because she is much older than the other nurses that we have working for us. LH is by no means old. That woman has more spunk and energy and can cuss you out if you are wrong. She has a busier schedule than I do from socializing with friends, attending WW meetings, going to the gym 3 days a week, working for us, taking vacation with her husband, and running her nursing chapter organization, not to mention her church duties. I hope to be that old! If you thought old people were small and frail and not cognitively sharp (which I thought) LH disproves that in a minute.
If you want read about another lady that has attitude and spunk, click on my title for a blog about Betty White.
My husband and I run a small training business and we have a retired nurse who works for us part time. She always refers to herself as the ‘old nurse” because she is much older than the other nurses that we have working for us. LH is by no means old. That woman has more spunk and energy and can cuss you out if you are wrong. She has a busier schedule than I do from socializing with friends, attending WW meetings, going to the gym 3 days a week, working for us, taking vacation with her husband, and running her nursing chapter organization, not to mention her church duties. I hope to be that old! If you thought old people were small and frail and not cognitively sharp (which I thought) LH disproves that in a minute.
If you want read about another lady that has attitude and spunk, click on my title for a blog about Betty White.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
What...Wisdom Doesn't Come With Age???
I was always under the impression that wisdom came with age. I mean if you need help with something or have a question, who do YOU go to for the answer. I either call my mom, my friend, consult with Google or my instructors. I was okay being wrong with the others that I missed on the quiz, but when I heard that wisdom doesn't come with age, I knew I needed to find out what IT did come with. I found this really neat article that I have provided a link to, just click on the title to check it out. Apparently wisdom comes with experience, not age. So okay, I get it, but doesn't experience come with age? Openness, willingness and the ability to try new things and have new experiences seems to be a key factor in acquiring wisdom.
Take my mom for example...If I need advice on kids, I will call my mom. However, she's very close-minded and for that reason, there aren't a lot of other things I will call and ask advice about. She won't even go to a different gas station if she thinks there is a possibility that she won't know how to work the gas pump, yeah, I know!!! I think she's needs some OT for her self-esteem, but she would never go for that. She has only been to a few states in her whole life, and so have I, but I plan to travel one day. My mom is content to stay right where she is to keep peace within the family. We are such different people! Anyway, my point is that even though she is much older than I, I feel like I am the wiser because I have been through a great deal in my life and am willing to try new things.
One surprising statistic from the article, just in case you don't have time to read it.
Less than 1% of the population is really considered to be wise.
Wisdom is, "What we experience and how we perceive, memorize and use this experience in the future."
Take my mom for example...If I need advice on kids, I will call my mom. However, she's very close-minded and for that reason, there aren't a lot of other things I will call and ask advice about. She won't even go to a different gas station if she thinks there is a possibility that she won't know how to work the gas pump, yeah, I know!!! I think she's needs some OT for her self-esteem, but she would never go for that. She has only been to a few states in her whole life, and so have I, but I plan to travel one day. My mom is content to stay right where she is to keep peace within the family. We are such different people! Anyway, my point is that even though she is much older than I, I feel like I am the wiser because I have been through a great deal in my life and am willing to try new things.
One surprising statistic from the article, just in case you don't have time to read it.
Less than 1% of the population is really considered to be wise.
Wisdom is, "What we experience and how we perceive, memorize and use this experience in the future."
Ageism
Since we are blogging about ageism, I thought I would take this opportunity to share a story and brag on my neice at the same time. My girls sing with a group of seniors in a local community not far from our home. The age range is this--My girls are 15 and 17, the youngest by far, and the oldest member is 96!!!! They had their performance two weeks ago on a Friday night. The show was fabulous--the energy from this group of mostly seniors could be felt throughout the entire theatre. One member of the group was introduced in the beginning of the show. She was seated by herself two rows in front of us. She's one of the original members--she's been singing with this group for 30 years. She had to sit this particular performance out due to a recent illness and hospital stay. My(almost)18 year old neice took it upon herself to go and introduce herself, and ask this woman if it would be OK if she sat with her. She smiled and said she "would like that". A very proud moment for me as her aunt to see the respect and kindness shown by my neice. She could have stayed seated with us, as we had three other kids her age with us also. But she chose to put herself out there, to provide company to an elderly woman she didn't even know!!!
I did have the opportunity to thank several members of this group for allowing my kids to sing with them, and they all responded in the same way. They felt blessed to have the teens singing with them!!! For me as their mom, I am thankful for their time with this group of seniors. They were surrounded by a population that welcomed them right from the beginning and continued to nurture and encourage them every Monday night as they practiced together for months.
We can learn a lot from the elders in our lives. In my opinion, life's experiences are the best of lessons. And I can think of no better way to learn, than to listen to the stories of those who have been there, and done that!
I don't think that at almost 18 years of age, I would have went and sat with an elderly woman I didn't even know. My neice did this without any prompting or even time to think about it. I don't know when I developed a sense of connection to this population. Maybe when I began to see myself entering into it! For M,(my neice) I am glad that she doesn't have to wait for this--she already has it!!!
I remember as a little girl, being afraid of the little elderly lady with the blue hair. Or my friend's grandmother who would constantly yell at us as we tore through her yard as fast as our legs would carry us!!!! To this day I have no idea why she would yell "I'm gonna catch you and box your ears!!!!!" I am a very literal person, so this never sat well with me, but I continued to egg her on every chance I got.
Our elderly population can provide us with much, and we as OTA'S have the opportunity to serve this population as we head into our next FW. Can't wait!!
I did have the opportunity to thank several members of this group for allowing my kids to sing with them, and they all responded in the same way. They felt blessed to have the teens singing with them!!! For me as their mom, I am thankful for their time with this group of seniors. They were surrounded by a population that welcomed them right from the beginning and continued to nurture and encourage them every Monday night as they practiced together for months.
We can learn a lot from the elders in our lives. In my opinion, life's experiences are the best of lessons. And I can think of no better way to learn, than to listen to the stories of those who have been there, and done that!
I don't think that at almost 18 years of age, I would have went and sat with an elderly woman I didn't even know. My neice did this without any prompting or even time to think about it. I don't know when I developed a sense of connection to this population. Maybe when I began to see myself entering into it! For M,(my neice) I am glad that she doesn't have to wait for this--she already has it!!!
I remember as a little girl, being afraid of the little elderly lady with the blue hair. Or my friend's grandmother who would constantly yell at us as we tore through her yard as fast as our legs would carry us!!!! To this day I have no idea why she would yell "I'm gonna catch you and box your ears!!!!!" I am a very literal person, so this never sat well with me, but I continued to egg her on every chance I got.
Our elderly population can provide us with much, and we as OTA'S have the opportunity to serve this population as we head into our next FW. Can't wait!!
Grey hair/old person
So, I am the oldest student in the class and I also have grey hair. Some days I feel like I am no older than a lot of the other students (some days much, much older). When our discussion in class last week turned to people with grey hair (elders), I was laughing out loud and quietly. I have 2 sisters, one younger and one older, that still color their hair. Without looking at our different hair color, we look very much alike. But, since I have grey hair, many people think I am the oldest. For example, we were shopping at a large department store. My older sister was in line in the next lane and asked about the senior discount. The cashier (around her age, I think!!) told her the age and my sister was not old enough for the store discount. The cashier in my line was young and gave me the discount without asking me anything!! When we got outside, I laughed and told her what had happened and that there were benefits to having grey hair! I started getting grey hairs when I was 13. Classmates would sit behind me and pull them out. Yes I have grey hair and yes I am 55, but I don't consider myself "old", and I certainly consider myself "useful"! Hey, let's stamp out "ageism"!!
Afternoons with Pop
Now that my afternoons are free I spend some of them visiting my 77 yr old grandfather. He curently resides in Grace Healthcare facility. Every since the 1st day when Ms. Carhoff spoke to us regarding the rights of the elderly in living facilities I have been thinking about my grandfather and those at that particular facility. Honestly speaking it is not one of the top notch nursing homes. I believe if my sister did not work there he would not receive the care that he does. This week I visited him around lunch time to make sure he gets a chance to eat all of his food. I really believe if I were not there his tray (whether or not he was finished) would have been taken. At his baseline, he never ate all of his food at one time. He is the type to "pick" off of it for a while. That made me think of what Ms. Carhoff said about knowing the clients and knowing what they were like prior to coming to that facility. As I spoke of in class, he has left side neglect so I helped him eat his luch. I am going to take Ms. Marcas' advice and put a piece of red tape on the right side of his tray to help him rember that side. I also asked if his bed could be moved to the other of the room so that visitors could sit on his right side, however due to him being on falls precaution that could not be done. I wasn't really looking forward to working with the elderly (they make me nervous), but after spending more time with my grandfather and listening to Ms. Carhoff I now am. I am both anxious and excited to see if and how I can make a difference in their lives.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Agism
As I have turned 50 this past year, my perspective on aging is changing. When I was younger, I thought 50 was old. Now, not so much! The cartoon I have attach reflects on how time sneaks up on a person and the person does not realize he/she is now old.
I try to treat each person I meet or know as an individual. However, I must admit I am guilty of agism against the elderly as a group. Having lived in Florida where the population is older has influenced my opinion of the elderly. During the winter, driving was hazardous because of all the snowbirds in FL. I often became impatient while trying to get places and being stuck behind an old person driving 40 on the interstate. Also, I laugh at some elderly behaviors like the old man in the neighborhood that has his dog lead the electric wheelchair or the retired couple discussing for several minutes which type of canned vegetables to buy at the store. (To be fair, I also laugh at my own age group and the funny things middle-aged people do like every 40 year old guy wants a motorcycle or sports car.)
I volunteered at a SNF in Florida and met many wonderful and interesting people at the facility. I truly enjoyed working with the individuals and learned so much about their lives and dreams.
As our class has discusses the stereotypes of the elderly, I am more aware of my thoughts about the elderly.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnnqfYuIcli1O215QEpiU5uZcXRGrSqRbEI7Dzc80V48h4j20_zEIC5ZOBpfmo0eb41sgx56TB4lfAZrMw5_Remqyqs99pLw6MWEh1XAucx4c5WCL5R9OqJ3Q7gjveHepaO6UHZfoSg2nx/s1600-h/funny-old2.jpg
Thursday, May 19, 2011
The lack of a filter
On the first day of class we were discussing what we thought of when we thought of "old people." Someone mentioned the lack of filter. They say whatever the feel like. Of course this is an generalization but I have experienced this from multiple elderly people.
We will start with my grandmother. She loves to comment on my aunt's weight, it started out not so bad by saying stuff like, "she has such a pretty face." Over the years it has turned into, "I don't understand why she doesn't just lose weight, she just keeps getting fatter and fatter." Keep in mind that this is not her child, this is the woman who married her son even though he has no money and suffered a stroke that his left him what I would call "boring." Every time I go to visit I have to be filled in on any changes in Kay's weight. I have been on the receiving end of these comments as well, when I was younger she used to tell me that my shorts were too short and people would think I was "trashy" and then it turned into, "Ashley you sure are taking long to lose that baby weight." When she would call to check in with my mom she would ask her how my weight loss has gone. My child is about to be 3-years-old and I have still not lost all my baby weight, at this point it just is what it is.
Another time I have witnessed a lack of filter is when I was in the grocery store the other day.I was over in the frozen food section, I was buying my child some of her favorite waffles when I saw this elderly woman walk up to this middle-aged woman that she didn't seem to know. The elderly woman said, "if I was your size I wouldn't be wearing those kinds of pants (capri pants), they make you look very wide." The other woman looked so embarrassed, who wouldn't be? She handled it very well, she said, "oh, I hadn't noticed that. Thank you." and walked away as fast as she could.
All of this makes me think of my child. For those of you who know my child know that she has a little bit of sass going on. She will be 3 next month and is very matter-of-fact about just about everything. Here is a list of comments/critiques that I receive from her on a weekly basis: mommy I don't think that shirt matches your pants, your leg jiggles when you run, you have really big "boobies" (all of you who know me know that this is a false statement), I don't like the way you make *insert food here*, you're driving too fast. I just think that it is interesting how both children and the elderly feel the freedom/right to say whatever they want. The difference is that children don't know any better, I think that the elderly just don't care.
I've attached a link to the circle of mom's website which is kind of like a blog. There is a post about an elderly woman saying "rude" things to a mom about her child and there are responses from other people on the topic. Please excuse the language and the comments that are just rude in general. I was hoping to find some statistics but this is the best I could find. It is interesting to read all the different opinions.
We will start with my grandmother. She loves to comment on my aunt's weight, it started out not so bad by saying stuff like, "she has such a pretty face." Over the years it has turned into, "I don't understand why she doesn't just lose weight, she just keeps getting fatter and fatter." Keep in mind that this is not her child, this is the woman who married her son even though he has no money and suffered a stroke that his left him what I would call "boring." Every time I go to visit I have to be filled in on any changes in Kay's weight. I have been on the receiving end of these comments as well, when I was younger she used to tell me that my shorts were too short and people would think I was "trashy" and then it turned into, "Ashley you sure are taking long to lose that baby weight." When she would call to check in with my mom she would ask her how my weight loss has gone. My child is about to be 3-years-old and I have still not lost all my baby weight, at this point it just is what it is.
Another time I have witnessed a lack of filter is when I was in the grocery store the other day.I was over in the frozen food section, I was buying my child some of her favorite waffles when I saw this elderly woman walk up to this middle-aged woman that she didn't seem to know. The elderly woman said, "if I was your size I wouldn't be wearing those kinds of pants (capri pants), they make you look very wide." The other woman looked so embarrassed, who wouldn't be? She handled it very well, she said, "oh, I hadn't noticed that. Thank you." and walked away as fast as she could.
All of this makes me think of my child. For those of you who know my child know that she has a little bit of sass going on. She will be 3 next month and is very matter-of-fact about just about everything. Here is a list of comments/critiques that I receive from her on a weekly basis: mommy I don't think that shirt matches your pants, your leg jiggles when you run, you have really big "boobies" (all of you who know me know that this is a false statement), I don't like the way you make *insert food here*, you're driving too fast. I just think that it is interesting how both children and the elderly feel the freedom/right to say whatever they want. The difference is that children don't know any better, I think that the elderly just don't care.
I've attached a link to the circle of mom's website which is kind of like a blog. There is a post about an elderly woman saying "rude" things to a mom about her child and there are responses from other people on the topic. Please excuse the language and the comments that are just rude in general. I was hoping to find some statistics but this is the best I could find. It is interesting to read all the different opinions.
My reaction to "older drivers"
Somehow I know that those of you who know me are already smirking from reading my title, before you even start to read this. Probably because you are not so different from me regarding this topic and likely can anticipate what you are going to read...and you're probably going to be right.
So I was given this assignment and instantly I knew what I was going to write about, the experience I had that very morning on the way to school. But first I would like to preface my story by saying that I do NOT have road rage. I am honestly not typically a rude or impatient driver. I have no issue with people who want or need to cut in in front of me for example or those who think they need to break the sound barrier and flush out the cops. Secretly I appreciate the latter.
Now that I've established that I'm not a mean driver, back to my story. So I'm on my way to school in rush hour traffic. I know how long it takes to get there and I anticipate heavy traffic as always so that is never a surprise. I resign myself to the crowds and typically just settle into the line of cars and basically just keep up. But what I discovered in my years of driving is that there is an unspoken rule when you are a driver in heavy traffic which is very simple - GO! That means find your place in the line and when you can move, go and keep up. Somehow I have such a hard time with people who don't do that.
I've never stopped to consider that some people, especially our older drivers actually need a longer following distance to compensate for their delayed reaction time, they know this and do what they need to, but in traffic, all it looks like to me is that someone does not want to "get with the program" like they missed the memo of the "GO" rule. So yes, I was the one in traffic on the way to school that was behind the older adult in a convertible (which in itself threw me off - yes another stereotype) and I was the one saying "oh, come on, GO!" Slow starts, big following distance, slow long rolling stops....UGH! I was sure it was someone texting or finding the perfect song on their ipod...that was until I finally passed him and saw a very older adult scrunched up behind the wheel. At that moment my slightly annoyed attitude instantly become my "oh, he's old, well then that's ok" attitude and I instantly forgave him for breaking the "GO" rule.
This is a strange sort of ageism that I practice. I give older people a pass on annoying me, as if they have earned the right to do that. As if a lifetime of worrying about other people's opinions and being polite has awarded them this pass, and is that a bad thing? We do that for little kids when we say "it's ok, they just didn't know any better". Well maybe for adults we can think "it's ok, they're done knowing better". (Or maybe they know so much better that we should follow their lead.) I kind of think that I would like people to do that for me when I am old too.
I hope this will be me one day. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPlITw1YPj0
So I was given this assignment and instantly I knew what I was going to write about, the experience I had that very morning on the way to school. But first I would like to preface my story by saying that I do NOT have road rage. I am honestly not typically a rude or impatient driver. I have no issue with people who want or need to cut in in front of me for example or those who think they need to break the sound barrier and flush out the cops. Secretly I appreciate the latter.
Now that I've established that I'm not a mean driver, back to my story. So I'm on my way to school in rush hour traffic. I know how long it takes to get there and I anticipate heavy traffic as always so that is never a surprise. I resign myself to the crowds and typically just settle into the line of cars and basically just keep up. But what I discovered in my years of driving is that there is an unspoken rule when you are a driver in heavy traffic which is very simple - GO! That means find your place in the line and when you can move, go and keep up. Somehow I have such a hard time with people who don't do that.
I've never stopped to consider that some people, especially our older drivers actually need a longer following distance to compensate for their delayed reaction time, they know this and do what they need to, but in traffic, all it looks like to me is that someone does not want to "get with the program" like they missed the memo of the "GO" rule. So yes, I was the one in traffic on the way to school that was behind the older adult in a convertible (which in itself threw me off - yes another stereotype) and I was the one saying "oh, come on, GO!" Slow starts, big following distance, slow long rolling stops....UGH! I was sure it was someone texting or finding the perfect song on their ipod...that was until I finally passed him and saw a very older adult scrunched up behind the wheel. At that moment my slightly annoyed attitude instantly become my "oh, he's old, well then that's ok" attitude and I instantly forgave him for breaking the "GO" rule.
This is a strange sort of ageism that I practice. I give older people a pass on annoying me, as if they have earned the right to do that. As if a lifetime of worrying about other people's opinions and being polite has awarded them this pass, and is that a bad thing? We do that for little kids when we say "it's ok, they just didn't know any better". Well maybe for adults we can think "it's ok, they're done knowing better". (Or maybe they know so much better that we should follow their lead.) I kind of think that I would like people to do that for me when I am old too.
I hope this will be me one day. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPlITw1YPj0
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Sowing the Seeds...
Recently we had a Regional Ombudsman come speak to our class about her role in Long Term Care (LTC) Facilities in our area. She described how the position came to be and what her responsibilities are as a resident advocate. Here are just a few of the duties of an Ombudsman…
- · Serve as advocates for residents when they are not receiving proper care or their rights have been violated.
- · Investigate concerns
- · Act as mediators when necessary
- · Educate about rules, rights and regulations of LTC facilities
- · Promote community involvement
- · Assist families and individuals with helping find a long term care residence.
- · Work to promote awareness about elder abuse
And by listening to her speak…I KNOW she does much more! I was so inspired about what she had to say and the changes she has and will be making in LTC facilities. The theme of her department (Triangle J Area Agency on Aging) is “Sowing the Seeds of Cultural Change”. Their mission is to serve as a catalyst for implementation of person-centered principles and practices in the long term care continuum. Now that is a BIG job! I’ve had a few experiences shadowing and working in the LTC setting. I have run into some questionable practice and some wonderful care giving as well. I won’t jump on the negative LTC bandwagon, but I will say that I know as OTAS we can be a part sowing the seeds of positive change. She talked about a study conducted by Judith Carboni in 1987 in which LTC residents were interviewed with the question of “What is home to you?” She then asked homeless individuals on the street of Boston the same question. The most common answers are as follows…
Home = Identity, Connectedness, Lived Space, Privacy, Power, Autonomy, Safety, Predictability, Journeying
Homelessness = Non-Personhood, Disconnectedness, Meaningless Space, Without Boundaries, Powerless, Dependence, Insecurity, Uncertainty, Placelessness
She went on to describe that a lot of the residents in LTC facilities have these “homeless” feelings. They feel like the space isn’t theirs, they feel dependent, uncertain and powerless. She went to describe some thought provoking analogies. She gave the scenario of just getting home from the long day, very tired and just lay down on the couch …someone knocks at the door. More than likely we won’t answer it or we have the choice to not answer the door. In a facility, if someone knocks at the door (you might be lucky to get a knock) they are more than likely going to come in the room even if the resident doesn’t want them to. I am guilty of knocking on the door as I walk in the room and not waiting for a response as well! But you better believe I will be more respectful of this in the future! She gave another scenario of an 84 year old woman who for the past 20 years woke up at 9:30am and had a cup of coffee and an English muffin for breakfast in her bathrobe. She is now in a facility where she is woken up at 6am, dressed and ready for eggs and bacon breakfast in the dining hall at 7:45am. What a change that must be! I would HATE to be forced to get clothes on and eat a big breakfast that early in the morning. Her messages really hit home to me…and those were only a few. I can only hope that these seeds can continue to be planted in the LTC facilities and maybe by the time I am practicing as an OTA I can water them and they will produce wonderful crops. (I know I’m so cheesy)
I've included a link in the title to blurb about Judith Carboni's research...
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
It was not bad...
When I first started the psychosocial fieldwork I was not sure about the clients that I would be working with. As I may have mentioned in class, I was not comfortable with this particular clientele. Not sure of the reason; maybe never interacted with a person with a TBI, not sure what they needed or wanted, they weren’t normal. But after spending 8 weeks in this setting it was not bad and I have a better understanding. Most of the clients want what the rest of us want. To be understood, appreciated, cared for and loved. They want to have friends, to laugh, to tell jokes, family to love, and to be treated as “normal” as the rest of us. Unfortunately their disability makes it hard for them.
So the next time you see a person not acting the way you would act or a group out for a special outing to the mall or restaurant, realize that they just want to shop and eat and interact like the rest of us.
So the next time you see a person not acting the way you would act or a group out for a special outing to the mall or restaurant, realize that they just want to shop and eat and interact like the rest of us.
Down Syndrome
Today was our last day at psychosocial FW, & I felt so honored in working with this group of developmentally disabled adults. At the beginning I didn’t know what to expect, & how we could impact their lives. At first, many of the folks did not participate - we would try to encourage them to join us, but some would not participate at all. It was heartwarming to see that by the 6th or 7th session, most of the clients were participating. Some of the clients who had not spoken to us at all began to speak a few words. We could tell they were getting more comfortable with us. Today was definitely hard day to say goodbye to all these wonderful folks.
Many of the adults at our facility have Down Syndrome, some are more functional than others. One of the ladies, who is 52 yo, has been working at the facility for about 30 years. The director talked about how active & helpful she had been over the years, but recently she has become quiet & withdrawn. She no longer has bowel & bladder control & her medical problems are increasing. Her mother & father still take care of her, but they are now in there 80’s & are beginning to have medical problems of their own. I don’t know what will happen to the lady once her parents pass away, but hopefully she can live with one of her siblings.
When I got home I decided look up Down Syndrome on the internet. It seems someone with this genetic disorder begins to develop health problems from aging sooner than “normal people”. For instance, they have a higher risk of dementia, & the signs & symptoms can appear before age 40.
This website has some good information about Down Syndrome - www.mayoclinic.com/health/down-syndrome/DS00182
I have always felt that someone who has the privilege to take care of a person with Down Syndrome is a very special person.
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